what if?

ever had that time in your day when everything just ain't working your way? when everything seems so messed up and there is nothing you can do about it? well, i face it all the time. and later that night when i lay on bed, i'll usually have some silly thoughts of how my life would have been if i were someone else? what if i pursued my interests further? where would it lead me to? well, i have two favorite images of myself.

image one - a professional footballer

i can hear all those laughters a mile away. but hey, i'm really passionate about the game. and i like to think that i'm good in it. at least it's the only thing which i won't say NO to... i've always wondered how cool it would be to play in front of 15, 000 people (let's face it - in malaysia, that's as good as you get). to score that wining goal (or to miss that last minute penalty)... but i never had the guts to pursue that career further. i guess i'm just too afraid to find out that i'm never good in it anyway...

image two - singer

wipe that sarcastic smile of your face... i said it was just an image. and i love music. especially the ones that touches me emotionally and the ones where the lyrics practically speaks to me. i hate songs that were written just for the sake of producing a song. i've always imagined my music to touch and change the lives of others (especially teenagers)... but lets be frank, i really do not have that talent in me. and i do believe singers are born, not made. since we're in this topic, i would also love to be able to play the guitar like crazy... hahaha.. that would be nice... in the mean time, i'll just have to stick to singing in the privacy of my room....

as silly as it sounds, to have these dreams do help me go through my really bad days (on the worst days i turn to ly and my friends...) but that's all they will be - dreams... i can't afford to make an effort for my dreams to come true. i can't bear the consequences if i fail... so it remains as just another dream... what if...